it doesn't feel right

so me and my boyfriend broke up yeasterday. when i woke up today, i thought it was a dream but when o checked my inbox, it really happened. I kinda hope that he will text me and tell mw he still loves me. I wanna text him but i don't know why i can't do it. I feel hurt but i'm cool with it. Idk what to do. I want to be with him but i miss myself. I'm so afraid. I might not be able to fins somebody as good as him. he is the best guy i met so far. They say you should follow what's in your heart but idk' i think if i would talk to him to fix our relationship, i think it will be messy agon in the future. Im really confused. :(

what i miss

it has been 3 weeks, i guess, since i last saw me boyfriend. currently, i am afced with a difficult task. I ttexted him to vent out my feelings. He kinda discouraged me. I wanted him to encourage me so i replied and vented out my feelings again. He replied and discouraged me. I got so sad os i told him why couldn't he just encourage me. He got so mad, because before, idk why, but i hated it eveeytime he encouraged me. So he thought, according to him, i didn't want to be encouraged which was absolutely untrue. I just waned him to encourage me and tell me that i am good with what i do. I didn't know this would turn out to be a big fight. I told him harsh words and to leave me alon. He didn't reply back which is quite good cause i don't wanna deal with him right now. I suddenly missed being single since we've been togther for 3 years. I went to a club last weekend with a girlfriend and i had so mich fin but i kinda didn't enjoy it as weel. There were lots of guys hitting on me but because i'm in a relationship, i decided not to dance with anybody else aside feom my girl. I kinda feel bad now. I really miss being single. I don't think there's a difference with my life now and thw life of a single girl becaue we seldomlyy text each othwr, yesy, im referring to my boyfriend. as i have mentioned earlier, it has been a while sine i last saw him. Sometmes, i don't really think about him anymore. Im cool with the fact that we can't see each other often now. Im not bothered anymore if he doesn't text me. I want to be single but im afraid to not find a partner agin as i have imagined my life to be with him. Im so confuswd. I want to be single and enjoy life but im afraid to lose him. Oh no, im not really afraid, i just worry my life without a guy. I feel so hurt now because he didn't encourage me. He pushed me away. I hope my feelings will change tomorrow. I wanna continue loving him but im missing being happy and doing crazy thingsthngs.

This is my first tome to write a blog ysing my phone and i couldn't really see what i am typing so i guuess there is a lot of typos. :(